Letting the Poison Out of the Stone
by Entwife Incognito
Summary: A dialogue between Jane and Lisbon, two adults who have loved each other for a very long time but have wandered lost, maybe finding each other again. One-shot first posted on Tumblr, but re-worked here. K with one bad word. No sex here. Disclaimer: I own nothing about The Mentalist.


"You're just going to let me go?" Lisbon spoke softly, not looking at Jane, fingering something on her desk as she stood next to her chair.

"I thought it's what you wanted. No matter how it seems . . . I do want you to be happy." His shoes made abrupt scraping sounds on the floor as he tried to stop his feet in the midst of a sudden agitation of confusion.

"And you won't even fight for me?"

Jane's head came up sharply, but she still didn't look at him. Was she being coy? Playing games with him? He wasn't up to it. "You told me you wanted me out of your life."

"I never said that."

He cocked his head as if listening to a playback. "Didn't you? I'm pretty sure you did."

"Your memory palace is out of context."

Jane slowly shook his head. "How much room for interpretation is there in, 'What makes you think I want to work with you again?' or 'Maybe I don't want to put the rest of my life on hold to be your sidekick?' or 'Let's get this case wrapped up so I can go home?'" Repeating those words, just thinking them made his heart feel like a stone, dead and full of poison.

Lisbon had nothing to say to that.

Jane turned away.

"I meant it."

"I know. It's my operating principle. I'm trying to adjust my behavior to make you comfortable enough to stay." Even if I don't get to see you and you find love with another man. Jane was sure he would now choke and pass out. He had to sit down. Where was the closest seat? He started noticing where he was in the room for the first time since the conversation started.

"You have. You have adjusted. Is it your job to make me comfortable?"

When he turned, Lisbon saw the confusion in his hurt eyes, the solemn ones with no more joy and very little life. She watched him flop into a nearby chair, sighing deeply as if it had taken all his energy.

"I didn't mean to take your balls."

"Forget my balls. That's the least of it. It's my heart that you have. My balls take second place."

Lisbon blushed.

"And since when are you concerned about them?"

"I know you haven't been blind to my interest all this time."

"I've seen no evidence of it since our first . . . warm . . . greeting after I got back."

"I have to establish myself here."

"Yeah." But you didn't have to stab me in the heart.

"What's that supposed to mean, Jane?"

"Nothing. Forget about it."

"No. Say what you have to say." She squared her shoulders to make herself ready.

"I don't have to say anything." The hurt inside him defended itself.

"Now you're being stubborn."

"I'm not." His voice grew very quiet. "I'm being hurt."

"I don't want to hurt you now."

Eyes narrowed, he tried to deflect the pain back inside so that Lisbon wouldn't see it. "I'm sorry. It doesn't turn on and off by what you want."

"Look. I'm sorry for what happened, how I worded things. I'm trying to talk to you now." Lisbon walked to the front of her desk and leaned against it, closer to him. "You put me in a really tough spot. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."

"If?"

"That. That I hurt your feelings. I was mad. You overstepped. Big time." Her face pitched deep red as she looked at her feet. "It was unfair of me. You had no way to check with me beforehand. You were taking a gamble with your life and freedom. For me. I should have thought of that. I shouldn't have said those things to you that way." She lifted her head to look at him. "Sure, I needed to get some things straight with you, but . . . "

Did it matter how she said things now? She was with someone else. "Let's cut to the chase. You're dating someone. Are you saying you want me to make a play for you?"

"Would it hurt? What happened to the guy who nearly came out of his skin when he thought Ardiles was flying to Houston for a date with me?"

"Yeah . . . well . . . maybe he was trying to ease his way in with those tasseled loafers!" Business designed to become personal!

"The point being, you've had no such reaction to me dating Pike. Why?"

"Things seem different now. I'm trying to stay out of your way. You seem to like not having me around. We're not really partners anymore, never work cases. I don't know your life anymore, _you_ anymore." God, he was getting depressed with this talk. "You chose to date this guy. I guess he really likes you. Who wouldn't? Ardiles was just a business date, anyway."

"Now you finally get that, God rest his poor soul." Lisbon crossed herself.

"And I've had time to think. What would it get me, to make a fuss about Pike?"

"I don't know . . . maybe . . . what you want?"

"Or you saying I'm trying to control your life."

"I guess it's fair for you to say that." She frowned. "A little mean. But fair."

"What if we hit it off?"

"What if we did?"

"Wouldn't you be conflicted? Resist me? Toss me out on the first hint that I might not change enough?"

"You're not willing to risk that?"

"No! What I have now is better than never being allowed to see you again."

"I would never do that. And I think I would be alright as long as I saw you were trying and progressing." Now she looked right into his eyes, a little heat in her cheeks. "You've done it before, you know. When you chose to be my real partner, instead of trusting Lorelei."

"Yes. Sometimes it's impossible to see what we used to be to each other."

"But I would never shut you out completely."

"No?"

"Never in a million years."

"I'm sure Pike will love that news."

"It's not his business."

"But . . . when it is . . . "

"It will never be his business."

"He won't like that."

"He doesn't."

"You've talked about me . . . to him."

"He's noticed . . . things."

"Is he dumping you?" Jane rose from his chair, red-faced and his fists balled tight, his voice growing louder. "Because he's just stupid if he lets you go!"

"You've let me go."

"I haven't. I mean, I have." He ran his hand through his hair, grasping tight. "I mean . . . I don't want to. I had to let you go . . . in order to keep what I can have of you." Good grief. What a pop-pych tripe!

"Don't! You'll pull those pretty curls out." Lisbon smiled indulgently. "You're going to need them when you get old."

"I'll never get older than I am now."

They both let the comment drop.

Lisbon spoke first. "I was hoping you'd be happy. Happy that maybe you had a chance. I mean, we had a chance."

"Do I?" His voice cracked and his mouth fell loosely open with tethered hope.

"If anyone does, you do."

"But what about Pike?"

"Maybe he has a chance, too."

"Especially if I blow it."

"You'd have to try pretty hard to do that, at this point."

"I'm pretty stupid."

"No. Just headstrong and impulsive. And maybe a bit narcissistic. And selfish. But not with me. You have a very good heart. At least for me."

"I certainly don't have a heart for anyone else."

"No. You don't, do you?"

"I owe Pike thanks if he's trying to push you towards me."

"That's not exactly it. But, yeah. You push me towards him and he pushes me towards you. A bit different from what a woman really fantasizes. Two guys avidly after her."

"I can be avid."

"That's good. Because I really need it."

"It makes you my sidekick. I don't think you would want it."

"If it works, it would make me your girlfriend, not your sidekick."

"Girlfriend? You want to be my girlfriend?" Jane's breath died in his throat as something thumped hard in his chest. Did his heart just start to beat again.

"Maybe. To start. I want you to try to be my boyfriend. I know you want to. I see your sad little heart looking at me through your stormy eyes, Patrick. I've known you and loved you in some capacity for more than twelve years. How would I not know your moods, suspect your feelings?"

"I got yours wrong. Maybe."

"So, let me be the smart one, for once."

"You are the smart one, Teresa. If it works between us, you just made my life. I'll do my best . . . but . . . "

"If you're not perfect?"

"Yes. I won't be."

"And you think I will be?"

Jane shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "If you came to love me . . . _that_ would be perfect."

"Then it's perfect. Because I already love you. I just told you that it will never go away or be tossed aside, nor will you. Never. If it can grow into something more, something wonderful between us, I don't know. But if you don't try . . . "

"What about Pike? If he's not pushing you towards me, what is?"

"I'll be honest, Jane. I'm a little confused right now. I like Marcus. A lot. When I get . . . warm feelings for him, something doesn't feel right. He knows something's . . . not quite right."

"Oh. I'm surprised that I'm really sorry about that, Lisbon." His face showed concern, even chagrin.

Lisbon was shocked! She was expecting to see tamped-down glee on Jane's face! "Uh, er . . . thank you, Jane. I didn't expect that."

"I can see why you wouldn't. But I do want you happy more than anything. No matter what I want."

Did he even realize what he was saying? Lisbon didn't think so. He looked so lost. He was changing right before her eyes. Like he did years ago, determined to become her real partner. She smiled softly, almost to herself as she let a small bubble of joy course through her. Just a small one.

Jane watched Lisbon drift in some secret pleasant reverie. She was so beautiful and even radiant, in a soft low-humming way. It almost hurt to look at her. Jesus, Patrick! She's waving you in! What kind of asshole are you? But . . . "What about Pike?"

"He knows the score. I'm still dating him. If it gets to the point of . . . well . . . something more between us, you and me or me and him, then maybe we have to regroup. But until then, you're not out of my system, Patrick, not by a long shot."

Patrick decided to answer Teresa's flag. "In that case, what are you doing Friday night?"

"As it so happens, Patrick, I'm free."


End file.
